Recently, I attended the Ventura County Board of Supervisors meeting. My coworker Julie and I were honored to accept a proclamation celebrating Senior Concerns’ 50 years of service to seniors and family caregivers in our community.

Janice Parvin, Chair of the Ventura County Board of Supervisors, noted that many of the public comments and causes featured that day intersected. I could not agree more. In particular, the proclamations before and after the Senior Concerns presentation highlighted older Americans’ immense value to our society.

A proclamation naming April 2025 as Arts, Culture, and Creativity Month in Ventura County presented and Ventura County’s fourth Poet Laureate, Mary Ann McFadden, was introduced.

Emma Heming Willis, wife of Bruce Willis, recently posted on Instagram a compassionate statement about the learning that can come from the tragic passing of Gene Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa.

She noted, “Mr. and Mrs. Hackman’s’ passing made me think of the broader story, that caregivers need care too. That they are vital, and it is so important to show up for them so they can continue to show up for their person”.

Many of you may know that Ms. Willis transitioned to the role of caregiver for her husband, actor Bruce Willis, after he was diagnosed with aphasia and then frontotemporal dementia (FTD).

Her message is an important reminder of the invaluable role family caregivers play in the health and well-being of their loved ones who may be aging, ill, or dealing with a disability.

Whose responsibility is it to remind older adult patients of their next programmed appointment?

Let’s say a patient is supposed to have an in-office procedure every six months. For whatever reason, that appointment was not booked in advance.

In a perfect world, both the physician’s office and the patient would share responsibility for ensuring the patient adhered to their treatment plan. The office may explain to the patient that they need to make a repeat appointment in six months, and the patient may put a notation on their calendar to make that appointment in the future.

But is that enough?

Every so often, I think of topics that are not deep enough to be the subject of an entire column but may be noteworthy.

I call these tidbits because they are small and interesting items of information. Sharing my recent tidbits with you today.

Hotel Stay

Recently, my husband and I took a trip to Carlsbad, where we stayed in a lovely hotel that boasted many amenities.

The other day I was talking to my mom about a challenging interaction I was having with a gentleman. My mom was amused at this person’s bad behavior.

I jokingly told my mother, “If you think he is so funny, maybe you should spend time with him.”

My mother quickly responded by saying, “I’d have to tell him where the dog died.”

We both had a good laugh. I remember this saying from long ago and interpreted it to mean my mom would sharply correct this person if he were in her world.

I love that my mom, especially at her age, saw herself as having the feeling of independence enough to put this person in their place.

It reminded me just how important independence is as an older adult.

Last week, the administration sent a memo seeking to pause potentially trillions of dollars in government loans, grants, and financial assistance. That memo was later rescinded, but it did create confusion and uncertainty, particularly in the nonprofit world.

While we are not sure what the future holds, a substantial amount of local Meals on Wheels funding is through the federal government, handed down to states and counties through Older Americans Act grant funding.

Each year, through Senior Concerns’ Meals On Wheels/Home Delivered Meals programs, we deliver over 65,000 meals to 450 homebound seniors. These seniors reside in Thousand Oaks, Newbury Park, Oak Park, Westlake Village and Agoura Hills.

When I consider the word “home” it conjures up a safe haven. A place where one can live alone or with loved ones and a place to enjoy with friends. It’s a place to build memories and a place where we can truly just be ourselves.

It is easy to see why aging in place, or remaining in our home as we age, has such an allure. Also, as my mom tells me, “When you get old, like I am, you just don’t like a lot of change.”

That makes a lot of sense logically until it doesn’t. Life, especially at an older age, often brings with it physical changes and sometimes cognitive ones that challenge our assumptions about our home being a safe haven.

When stairs become a problem in reaching your bedroom, bathroom or laundry room, or when you are unable to enter your bathtub due to balance issues, or you must commit to a life of social isolation because you can no longer hear the telephone or doorbell ring; these unthinkable changes can make a home a dangerous place to be.

A friend stopped by over the holidays to say hello.

I knew her from work activities, and we became friends, grabbing lunch occasionally and sharing anecdotes about our lives. She was a highly skilled individual, educated, and successful. I enjoy my time with her because our conversations are stimulating.

My friend has been retired for over a year now after planning and announcing her decision a full year in advance.

We began to talk about her old work life, and she recounted something that recently happened that upset her.

She ran into an old work acquaintance, a gentleman, who asked her (referring to her retirement), “What do you do?”

My friend recently shared with me that after making plans for her mother and father to come to her house for Christmas, they unexpectedly changed their mind and told her they weren’t coming.

The original plan was that one of her adult children would pick her parents up and make the hour drive to her house. They would stay a few days and join their daughter celebrating Christmas Eve with extended family a town over and then spend Christmas at her home with her family.

This had been their holiday ritual for years. As an only child, she looked forward to sharing holiday traditions with her parents.

My friend sounded so disheartened as she explained to me that her parents are in their late 80’s and may not have many more Christmas where they would be healthy enough and capable of visiting her home.

Right after the Thanksgiving holiday, while we were chatting on the phone, I asked my 90-year-old mother what she was doing.

She told me she was in the den in her recliner with her feet elevated. She explained that for the last few days her ankles were swollen and her legs felt tired.

She said, “Yesterday, I elevated my feet very high. The swelling has gone down a little, but one of my legs feels very heavy.”

She attributed it to too much salt.

When I explained to her that swollen feet and ankles and heaviness in her legs might be signs of a heart issue, she said ardently, “I know, I read that on the internet.”