I was brought up in a household where we were taught to see the best in people. In most cases, giving folks the benefit of the doubt has served us well.

However, based upon a recent experience my mother had, I think being a bit more cautious, especially as we age, is warranted.

Because of her underlying risk of glaucoma, my mother visits the eye doctor every six months for a checkup. She had an appointment a few weeks ago.

After a temperature check, she proceeded to the registration desk to give her name. They told her she had a $25 copay, so my mother paid in cash.

A few moments later, 

It has been eight months since I’ve seen my mother. I miss her tremendously, but I do not think at this point it is safe to travel 3,000 miles by plane and rental car.

So I continue what I have been doing and make my morning phone call to my mother while I walk the dog.

A few years ago, when my dad was alive, we had plenty to talk about—doctor’s appointments, visiting nurse instructions, questions about his Parkinson’s and much more.

Up until the pandemic, we could talk about my mother’s daily activities, including time spent with her new great-grandbaby, excursions to the flower shop and visits with my sister and her children.

Now there is little to talk about. My mother’s life has become very quiet.

Due to COVID-19, my husband and I are at home a lot more these days. All that togetherness has given me time to reflect on how my husband and I manage change over time.

Of course, marriage created modifications in my lifestyle right from the start. Following in my mother’s footsteps, I felt responsible for having a home-cooked meal on the table each night. The house always needed to be clean enough for company. At least that is the standard I set for myself.

Early in our marriage I traveled all week for work. That left the weekends to do things. I suggested to my husband that I could cook for the week, or clean, but doing both would leave me no free time for us to enjoy together. He asked me which I preferred to do, and I said cooking.

I think some of us are surprised by what has become most important to us as a society over these past four months.

Take, for example, the most basic of our needs, something as simple as air and food.

Pre-pandemic we may have been worried about air quality if it was allergy season, but now being able to breathe virus-free air is of top priority.

Before COVID most of us may have considered grocery shopping a bit of a chore. However, now that it is elevated to an “essential activity” and permits us to leave our homes, we are eager to go to the supermarket.

In the early days of the coronavirus, shopping was like a scavenger hunt. Will today be the day I find yeast, flour or rice? Who knew how much we’d valued those items that we previously took for granted?

You are sitting in your favorite spot in your home—what do you have within arm’s reach?

I recently polled my workmates and received a host of answers, including a computer or iPad, tissues, reading material, Sudoku or crossword puzzles, a pen, a notepad, the television remote, a beverage and, of course, a cellphone.

As human beings, we like our frequently used stuff nearby, where we can’t lose track of it. It makes our lives easier, more enjoyable, more hassle-free and much more comfortable. And because of this, designers have for centuries created new ways to give us a resting place for that stuff.

Take, for example, the nightstand or bedside table, 

My husband and I used to chuckle when my mother-in-law lived with us. She would set up shop inside our open garage with her cup of tea, our dog on a leash, her lawn chair, her Table-Mate tray table and a set of magazines.

It did not matter that our backyard held lovely views of the Conejo Valley; the view she wanted to see was people.

While sitting in the garage over the course of the day, she would see the mail carrier, delivery people, neighbors walking their dogs, Realtors dropping off flyers and the people next door walking to their car.

She would shout out a “Hey, mister!” or “Hey, lady!” and launch right into a conversation with anyone who walked by. I am sure the interaction reminded her of her hometown in Ireland, where neighbors were close and conversation was plentiful. And the exchange fed her soul.

Birthdays during the pandemic have certainly changed.

Take, for example, a first birthday, when a child’s parents reflect on how quickly the year has gone. One-year-olds have achieved so much in their first year. They have developed their own personality and can really enjoy the excitement of a party just for them.

My great-nephew, Wyatt, turned 1 this past week.

His parents, grandparents and great-grandmother held a socially distanced outdoor party for him. Neighbors and friends drove up, stayed in their cars to drop off gifts and send well-wishes, and were treated to a to-go lunch including a hot dog, bag of chips, soda and birthday cake.

Wyatt will never know his birthday celebration was different than it might have been pre-pandemic. But most of us know that this year’s birthday will likely be different from those in the past.

Last week was also my friend Adrienne’s 77th birthday. 

Yes, this will be my second column on the upcoming census in as many months, but hopefully you’ll forgive me. After all, there’s a lot at stake here. What happens in 2020 will determine the fate of our region’s communities for the next 10 years.

Did you know that, according to the U.S. government, Ventura County is in the top 2% of counties “at risk” for undercounting in the upcoming 2020 census?

Why would Ventura County be any different than other counties? It seems, according to the federal government, that we have an overabundance of factors that will challenge census takers. Among them: potentially hundreds of individuals (if not more) who may be in the country illegally and who are fearful of being asked if they are a citizen (they won’t be).

What will 2020 look like for you? That answer is likely to be different for everyone, but there are a few things most older adults will have in common. 

For example, if Social Security is your primary source of income, you may want to think about tightening your belt a little. In 2020, seniors will be getting a 1.6% increase in benefits, which pales in comparison to the 2.8% cost-of-living adjustment they received going into 2019.

Additionally, the standard monthly Medicare Part B premium is increasing from $135.50 in 2019 to $144.60 in 2020.

Belt tightening can include getting a part-time job, taking in a roommate and reducing expenses.

One of the major areas of expense for older adults are healthcare costs. By this time of year, seniors have selected their Medicare

 I recently attended a presentation by a partnership specialist for the Los Angeles Regional Census Center. She met with a group of nonprofits to explain details of the upcoming 2020 Census and to express the importance of each household completing the census.

According to AARP, older Americans have been more likely than other age groups to return their U.S. Census forms and make sure they were counted.

That is the good news, because there has never been a census in history that is more important to seniors than this upcoming one—because the senior population is growing at such a rapid pace and needs to be counted.