My friend, a fellow solo-ager (older adult without children), recently asked me some provocative questions.

They were, I think, a sign of the times that people are broadening their thinking around what’s important.

She began by sharing a recent article in the New York Times about individuals who bequeathed assets upon their death to friends rather than family. She asked me what I thought of that concept.

I explained that my best friends have ebbed and flowed through the years and have changed as my life circumstances have.  Friends from school

Here’s a question for you, what do I have in common with Madonna, Ellen DeGeneres, and Jamie Lee Curtis?

How about Kevin Bacon, Alec Baldwin, and Drew Carey?

If you guessed that we are all turning 65 this year, you would be right. 

All of us, along with another 3.65 million Americans will become - wait for it - senior citizens.

Fortunately for me, I work in the senior service industry and have been anticipating this for quite some time. However, for many of the millions who will turn 65 this year, there may be some fear and unease.

For those of you on the brink of this magic age, let me start with some good news. 

If you are feeling very good or very bad these days, it may be due to the recent rains.

Take it from two musical camps. In his hit “Laughter in the Rain,” Neil Sedaka croons “Ooh, how I love the rainy days, and the happy way I feel inside,” while The Carpenters declare “Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.”

How can one simple form of precipitation have such a diametric effect on people?

I’ve had time to contemplate these conflicting feelings, as we watch more than our normal share of rainfall.

Let’s start with the bad news first. Why would the presence of rain make us feel bad?

My mother’s recent visit from New Hampshire was one of the highlights of my year thus far, but I can’t help but feel some guilt as I look back upon her stay.

Before she came, I was committed to finding the perfect balance between making her visit enjoyable and special, while at the same time respecting that at 88 years of age she needed some rest, too.

Prior to seeing me, she spent a week with my sister in Del Mar. They dined out, went shopping, visited with friends, got a manicure, and toured San Diego Zoo Safari Park.  

A week later, my mother arrived at my house with my sister and her husband, the day before the Senior Concerns gala.

Attending the gala was fun and exciting for my mom, but also exhausting. She stuck to the couch the next two days, recovering from overstimulation and a very late night.

Restaurant dining has always been a joyful experience for me.

In terms of aesthetics – at lunch, I enjoy the respite from my workday and at dinner, conversations with my husband or friends.

Regarding the food, in both cases I like trying new dishes as well as appreciating old favorites.

But in these last few years, something has changed with regards to my dining out; the amount of food I eat during those meals.

There was a time I could eat a whole sandwich at lunch or a full plate of pasta for dinner. Now, as I search menu options, I look for cups of soup, smaller appetizer portions, side salads or half orders of pasta.

Primary care providers are hard to come by

In the past five years I have had four primary care physicians. No, I am not a difficult patient, I am the product of changing dynamics in the practice of primary care.

Five years ago, I had a primary care physician I really liked. She listened to me and provided good quality care.

However, she was struggling. As the healthcare industry shifted to volume-based care, it limited her ability to offer a quality experience for her patients. She was challenged with rising operating costs, a larger administrative burden, and cuts in insurance reimbursement. 

So, she decided to “go concierge.”

Many years ago, my father-in-law Danny, who was in his late 70s, was hanging new kitchen cabinets.  Part of the job meant moving some of the ceiling tiles.

When he moved the tile directly above the kitchen sink, he happened upon a paper bag holding $8,000 in cash. 

His wife, Mary, was apoplectic when he found it. She had worked as a housekeeper for many years and had been saving her earnings in that bag to pay for new appliances or other things she wanted that her husband was less than excited about purchasing.

I remember that day vividly as I think about

I will be attending two celebrations of life this month.

The first is for my friend Margaret.

I wrote about her in one of my recent columns, about her surprise 90^th birthday party with 50 of her friends and neighbors. Margaret died in December, a week before she was scheduled to go on a trip to Africa.

I am comforted by the thought that people got to celebrate her 90^th birthday with her.

The other is for a 50-year-old work colleague who was killed by a stray bullet. He leaves behind a wife and children. His death is senseless, tragic, and shocking.

I add to this something which I have been unable to write about thus far, because it’s been too painful;

As one year comes to an end, a new one begins.

I recently received my 2023 monthly planner. Full of expectations for the coming year, I can’t wait to begin to fill it up with appointments, activities, and events.

Each year I spend some time looking for just the right planner, one with a bright upbeat cover and big boxes for each day of the month to make notations.

Somewhere in my growing up years, I was taught to be productive and prepared. My monthly calendar helps me to look forward and visualize my day, week, and month to get myself ready for what is coming my way.

On a practical side,

It might sound like a random invitation, but at a recent holiday gathering of women friends, a community acquaintance, Terry, invited me to go for a walk.

We had been talking about feeling a bit stressed and sad watching some of the rude behavior of others whether in the media or in our daily lives.

Always a positive person, Terry explained that she had some therapy she wanted to share with me. She explained how she recently invited a friend on a long beach walk, and how wonderful she felt afterward. 

She noted that her mood had improved. She said because of the conversation during the walk, she felt a closer connection to her friend.