The other day I was talking to my mom about a challenging interaction I was having with a gentleman. My mom was amused at this person’s bad behavior.

I jokingly told my mother, “If you think he is so funny, maybe you should spend time with him.”

My mother quickly responded by saying, “I’d have to tell him where the dog died.”

We both had a good laugh. I remember this saying from long ago and interpreted it to mean my mom would sharply correct this person if he were in her world.

I love that my mom, especially at her age, saw herself as having the feeling of independence enough to put this person in their place.

It reminded me just how important independence is as an older adult.

It turns out February is National Senior Independence Month. President Ronald Reagan founded it in 1988 to highlight support systems that help seniors live independently and with dignity.

I recently read an interesting study about how family caregiving, however well intentioned, can result in reduced control for older adults which can have a negative impact on their mental health.

Family provides most of the care for older adults in the United States. They are often the most available option, especially when paid care is limited due to cost or availability.

If you have ever been a family caregiver for an older loved one, you know while the experience can be rewarding, it can also be emotionally, physically, or financially challenging. This we know from many studies, as well as organizations designed to support family caregivers.

But how often is the older adult’s experience considered?

When a senior requires help, and even when the family caregiver’s actions are well-meaning, the impact may still cause threats to the senior’s psychological wellbeing. We are a society built on independence; it is imbedded within our DNA to value having control over our actions.

The study interviewed older adults residing in assisted living facilities, asking them questions focused on the transfer of tasks to family members. These tasks ran the gamut from turning over the management of finances, to granting a family member Power of Attorney, to the actual decision to move to the facility.

The authors of the study grouped task transfers into three categories. Those where the senior actively delegated a task to a family member or friend, those where it was unclear who initiated the transfer of control, and those where the caregiver unilaterally made the decision to transfer control.

Growing physical and cognitive limitations often challenge family members’ ability to honor a senior’s sense of control.

The study observed, “As older adults accumulate limitations, it becomes easier for more powerful others to take control over various aspects of their lives, “for their own good.” Family members may unintentionally disempower older adults.

The study noted the best-case scenarios of successful transfer of control came from older adults who plan ahead.

One woman retained her sense of control by relying on a trusted former neighbor versus her children. She knew she would eventually need help and planned for someone who knew her intimately to support her with tasks. She said, “The day my children tell me what I’m going to do – they are out of the will!”

National Senior Independence Month should remind us that control over one’s self is vitally important for older adults by helping them maintain a sense of independence. It is vital for their psychological well-being.