The healing power of memories

I just returned from possibly the best vacation of my life.

The memories I brought back will stay with me forever.

The trip began with the culmination of six months of planning for a big catered backyard BBQ for my mom’s 90th birthday. The tent was set, tables in place, the garden groomed, tribute table and wall of photos in place, and the buffet was laid out with everything from baby back ribs to lobster rolls.

Sixty friends and family gathered on a sunny New Hampshire afternoon to pay tribute to a woman who has provided a lifetime of care for those around her.

Guests came to the microphone to share their memories of how my mom touched their lives. Each story was a precious gift to my mom, my sisters and me.

My mother, being the practical New England woman that she is, told me afterward, “OK, now when I pass, there’s no need for another gathering.”

She is a hoot.

After the celebration, my husband and I headed south to Cape Cod.

The Cape is a place of solace for me.

While I grew up in New Hampshire, we vacationed each year at the Cape and when my parents retired, they moved there.

My memories of walking the Brewster tidal flats where the receding water leaves behind tidal pools of shore crabs, periwinkles and other ocean life, calls to me. It had been years since I visited the Cape, and I missed its natural beauty, delicious seafood, and coastal charm.

We booked an adorable bed and breakfast called the Old Manse Inn which was built in 1801 as a sea captain’s manor. From our room, we were able to hike down to the beach, and then we walked for miles, taking in the sunshine, listening to the lapping waves and breathing in the salty air.

We visited Nickerson State Park, where my parents volunteered each week to transport bottles and cans from the park in their little truck to the recycling center.

While visiting Nickerson with my parents as a young adult, we would go to Cliff Pond and my father would swim the length of the pond, while the rest of us kids and grandkids hunted for polliwogs. As we walked to the shallow edge of the pond, we kept our shadows behind us, so we didn’t alert the tiny creatures to our presence before we scooped them up in our net.

When it got too hot, we would walk the Cliff Pond trail where my mom would point out the lady slipper plants and caution us not to trample them.

They have become increasingly rare due to over collecting and habitat reduction.

My husband and I walked on that same trail this vacation. It brought back so many wonderful memories.

Coming from a family of foodies, we visited some of the same restaurants we had enjoyed so many years ago; sampling Brewster oysters, steamed little neck clams, baked scrod and fried haddock.

On our visit to Chatham, we bought homemade fudge and saltwater taffy, just like we did in the old days.

Between the personal recollections at my mother’s birthday and our own revisiting of the places I enjoyed so much with my parents, it was a wonderful trip down memory lane.

Each day of our trip I called my mom to tell her what was no longer there, like Cape Cod Sea Camp and Sundae School Ice Cream Shop, and what remained. It was a shared experience we enjoyed together.

What I hope did occur to her as we talked, is how special and meaningful the Cape is in our family history, and how she and my father made a place not just a place, but a treasured family heirloom.

If you have not shared the special memories of your “place” with your family, please consider doing so. They, right along with you, will experience the positive feelings and connection these memories can bring.

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Andrea GallagherAndrea Gallagher

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