When I consider the word “home” it conjures up a safe haven. A place where one can live alone or with loved ones and a place to enjoy with friends. It’s a place to build memories and a place where we can truly just be ourselves.

It is easy to see why aging in place, or remaining in our home as we age, has such an allure. Also, as my mom tells me, “When you get old, like I am, you just don’t like a lot of change.”

That makes a lot of sense logically until it doesn’t. Life, especially at an older age, often brings with it physical changes and sometimes cognitive ones that challenge our assumptions about our home being a safe haven.

When stairs become a problem in reaching your bedroom, bathroom or laundry room, or when you are unable to enter your bathtub due to balance issues, or you must commit to a life of social isolation because you can no longer hear the telephone or doorbell ring; these unthinkable changes can make a home a dangerous place to be.

A friend stopped by over the holidays to say hello.

I knew her from work activities, and we became friends, grabbing lunch occasionally and sharing anecdotes about our lives. She was a highly skilled individual, educated, and successful. I enjoy my time with her because our conversations are stimulating.

My friend has been retired for over a year now after planning and announcing her decision a full year in advance.

We began to talk about her old work life, and she recounted something that recently happened that upset her.

She ran into an old work acquaintance, a gentleman, who asked her (referring to her retirement), “What do you do?”

While a lot is being said these days about the effects of loneliness and social isolation on older adults’ mental and physical health, I am going to turn to the other side of the coin for a moment.

If you, like me, are an extrovert, and have a busy work and social life, some solitude or “me time” is not only a benefit, but also a requirement.

For all of us, life is a balancing act. I find that while I get energized from being around others, when there is too much of it, I begin to feel tired and stressed.

Fortunately, I naturally gravitate to things I can do solo when my social cup is overflowing.

It is my family’s belief that my mother is the best driver among us.

In addition to a spotless driving record, when she parks her car at her house, she must back into a tiny one car garage that has an unforgiving margin of error. None of us are willing to back her car in ourselves, for fear that we will break off one of her side mirrors.

We joke that when she fails to successfully back into her garage, we will know it’s time to take the keys away.

Just this year, my mother had to renew her driver’s license right before her 90^th birthday.

She completed the entire process online, no driving test, vision test or exam required. She resides in New Hampshire, so the rules for driver license renewals differ from here in California.

I just returned from possibly the best vacation of my life.

The memories I brought back will stay with me forever.

The trip began with the culmination of six months of planning for a big catered backyard BBQ for my mom’s 90^th birthday. The tent was set, tables in place, the garden groomed, tribute table and wall of photos in place, and the buffet was laid out with everything from baby back ribs to lobster rolls.

Sixty friends and family gathered on a sunny New Hampshire afternoon to pay tribute to a woman who has provided a lifetime of care for those around her.

Guests came to the microphone to share their memories of how my mom touched their lives. Each story was a precious gift to my mom, my sisters and me.

The other day my husband and I were having a very early dinner at one of the restaurants on Westlake Lake. Because it was so early, we were the only customers in the restaurant.

In walked a man, about our age, with a pretty floral arrangement.

Being the chatty gal that I am, and since there were no other patrons around, I asked him if he was there for a birthday or an anniversary.

“No,” he said, “I am here to propose!” 

Well, that sure took us by surprise.

My grand-nephew Wyatt celebrated his graduation from pre-kindergarten (pre-K) last week.

According to my niece, it was an adorable commemoration. Children were seated in front of the parents and the teacher had them perform songs they had rehearsed together. Then everyone watched a slide show with pictures of the class each month and during special occasions. Lastly, each student was called up to sit next to the teacher and receive their pre-K certificate. 

In the future, if all goes as planned, Wyatt will celebrate graduations from kindergarten, elementary, middle and high school, and maybe even college or technical school, with ceremonies marking each milestone.

May is Older Americans Month, a time to recognize older Americans' contributions and reaffirm commitments to serving the older adults in our communities.

My heart is always uplifted when I hear about acts of kindness ordinary citizens bestow upon seniors.

As I was watching events unfold at Senior Concerns’ Caregiver Recognition Day last week, I received a phone call from my friend, Vince, an older adult himself.

He wanted to share with me his interaction with a woman he recently met at the doctor’s office. I will call her Alice.

Alice is wheelchair bound. Vince struck up a conversation with her and as the two began to talk,

Years ago, I remember getting permission to go into my mother’s purse to get a piece of gum or hard candy. 

Inside was a veritable treasure trove of items for a young girl to examine. Lipstick, a compact, eyeliner, a hairbrush, a calendar, a pen, an address book, an embroidered cloth handkerchief, keys, a nail file, and a wallet as fat as an overstuffed sub sandwich (we will get to that later).

Back east we called them pocketbooks, here they are called purses. What’s universal is that their contents are as unique as each person.

A few years ago, my wallet was stolen from my purse,

If you are not traveling to see family or have relatives staying with you over this holiday, you may have some downtime on your hands.

When many of us are juggling schedules and working on a never-ending list of to-do's, an organized space can seem like something nice to have rather than a priority. Plans to declutter and organize are usually the first to go when our cup is overflowing.

So, besides the great food and festive spirit of the holidays, I love the fact that I have spare time to get some stuff done.

Getting organized and taking care of chores that set me up for the new year gives me a great sense of accomplishment.

Here’s a list of my annual time off tasks.