The quiet weight of caregiving

The quiet weight of caregiving

My mom is 92 and, remarkably, still pretty independent.

She lives in her own home. She reads. She cooks. She putters. She watches her shows. She still insists she’s “fine.” And in many ways, she is.

But aging has a way of turning even “fine” into a team sport.

There are three of us sisters. We all love our mom fiercely. We all care deeply. We all show up — just in very different ways.

One sister lives a mile away. She’s the one who gets the phone call when the TV won’t work. The call when the internet is acting up. The “I feel a little dizzy” moments. The winter rides to doctor’s appointments when the roads are icy.

When love changes shape: dating after mate's dementia

When love changes shape: dating after mate's dementia

Recently, a friend shared something with me that quietly broke my heart for him.

His wife has advanced Alzheimer’s. She lives in a care community now. She no longer recognizes him. Their conversations are brief. Sometimes she smiles at him the way she might smile at any kind visitor. Their shared jokes, their history, those knowing glances across a room — those things are gone.

And yet, he still visits. Still pays the bills. Still advocates for her care.

He is, in every way, a devoted husband.

He’s also lonely.

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