You walk to the mailbox, shuffle through the usual assortment of bills, advertisements, and catalogs, and spot an envelope from the California Department of Motor Vehicles.

You open it. The DMV wants to reexamine your ability to drive safely.

Wait. What?

You haven't asked for this. As far as you know, you haven't done anything wrong. And then comes the question most of us would probably ask:

Who reported me?

You may never know.

In California, concerns about a person's ability to drive safely can come from a physician, law enforcement officer, family member, friend or even a neighbor. Someone making a report can request that their identity be kept confidential.

I can imagine how unsettling that would be. You might feel embarrassed, angry, or even betrayed. You may start mentally going through everyone you know, trying to figure out who did it.

But that won't help you much when you meet with DMV- preparing will.

First, being called for a reexamination does not mean DMV has already decided you shouldn't drive.

Depending on the circumstances, DMV may ask about your health, medications, driving history, and any incidents that raised concerns. You may be asked to provide information from your physician or take a vision, knowledge, or driving test.

DMV could determine that no action is necessary. It could require additional medical information or future evaluations. It could restrict your driving—for example, to daylight hours or a certain geographic area. And yes, if DMV determines you can no longer drive safely, your license can be suspended or revoked.

So, what should you do if that envelope arrives?

Read every word and don't miss any deadlines. If there is a medical concern, make an appointment with your doctor and bring the DMV paperwork. If vision is an issue, get your eyes checked. Review the California Driver's Handbook. And if you may have to demonstrate your driving ability, consider a refresher lesson or professional driving evaluation.

But I would add something that won't appear on a DMV form.

Be honest with yourself.

Have you had some close calls lately? Are people honking at you more often? Do you avoid driving at night because you can't see as well? Have you gotten confused going somewhere familiar? Do you have difficulty judging how quickly another car is approaching? Could medication or alcohol be affecting your judgment or reaction time?

Better yet, ask someone you trust to ride with you and tell you the truth.

Because there are two sides to that DMV envelope.

For an older adult, losing the ability to drive can be devastating. Driving isn't simply transportation. It's independence. It's getting to the grocery store, seeing your doctor, meeting a friend for lunch, and deciding on Tuesday morning that you feel like going somewhere.

Especially in communities without reliable public transportation, giving up the keys can make someone's world considerably smaller. We shouldn't minimize that.

But now imagine the person on the other side.

Maybe it's the daughter who has watched Dad get lost twice coming home from the grocery store. The physician worried about a patient's medical condition. Or the friend sitting in the passenger seat who has quietly started gripping the door handle.

Making that report may feel like a betrayal to the person receiving the letter. But it might also be an act of love.

And other people sharing the road—the child in the crosswalk, the bicyclist beside you, and the family in the approaching car.

Perhaps we should have these conversations before a DMV envelope forces us to.

Every once in a while, ask yourself: Am I still the driver I think I am?

And ask someone you trust, too.

The answer doesn't necessarily have to be "keep driving" or "give up the keys." Maybe it's no more night driving. Maybe you avoid freeways or unfamiliar areas. Maybe you take a refresher course.

Growing older doesn't automatically make someone an unsafe driver. But growing older does require us to be honest when our abilities begin to change.

The goal is to preserve our independence for as long as possible—without putting ourselves, or someone else, at risk.